Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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