ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
