i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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