My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I wear drunk well.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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