All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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