when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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