this boner is exhausting
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
