Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
