SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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