you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
