Operation Purity has been aborted
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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