you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
