I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
