Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
