if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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