So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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