So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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