you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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