Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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