people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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