Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.