we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
