Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
