Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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