Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
