if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All I want is dick and wine.
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