Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
