Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
