"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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