Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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