2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
