The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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