Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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