I wannas sexs uuuuu
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
