Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
