Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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