the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
