also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize