Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
