i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
