She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
