Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
