Porn is love you can see.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
