I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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