he thought i was a dude.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
