I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
