bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
