I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize