She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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