Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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