I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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