Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
