You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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