found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
