it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
