Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize
