No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
