My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
