Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
