Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
