dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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